Thursday, July 29, 2010

Getting To Know Your Thursday....What Is Romance??

I love romantic comedies.  I think they are lovely, happy little movies that let me escape into another world.  They are funny and romantic, hence the name of the genre.  I think maybe these movies do shape our view of romance.  I love movies like Music and Lyrics, Love Actually, When Harry Met Sally, The Holiday, You've Got Mail, Fools Rush In, etc.  They always have a little conflict of some kind that is overcome and then there is a grand romantic gesture of some kind.  In Music and Lyrics, the grand gesture consists of song written by a man and sung onstage at a concert.  Here's a clip:


Awww, how I love romantic comedies. 

Then there are the dramas.  The Notebook (my FAVORITE), Titanic, Dirty Dancing, and who can forget An Officer and a Gentleman.  Again, the grand gesture prevails.  Who can forget when Richard Gere, in his dress whites, walks into that factory, picks up Debra Winger in his arms and "rescues" her from her dismal little life and factory job.  Awww, the grand gesture seems to be the romantic go to in most movies. 

Then there is the obvious romantic things:  roses or flowers, candlelight dinner and dancing, moonlit walks on the beach, etc.  These are the things you expect to find on someone's online dating bio.  They are romantic in theory, but sometimes a little overdone.  Now, sending you a bouquet of your favorite flower, like say....Casablanca lillies, which are harder to find and takes a little effort....that's romantic to me. 

So, what's your most romantic date?  Mine would have to be the night my Hubby proposed.  We were suppossed to go to The Waffle House to eat.  He was already at my house waiting for me to get home.  He met me at the door and in the kitchen was a candlelight dinner with his awesome chicken fetticine alfredo, and soft music in the background.  It was very romantic.  And then, he asked me to dance, which he NEVER does, so that was a huge romantic gesture on his part.  Then the ten minute speech about how much he loved me and couldn't live without me and then my ring.  That was almost ten years ago.  That was the last candlelight dinner we had.  Hmmmm.  Does that mean the romance is gone???  Absolutely not.  It means, our idea of romance has changed.

Let's get real for a moment shall we?  We live in 1500 square feet with four kids, including L, who is autistic.  Hubby works full time and I stay at home, which means, we have no extra $$ lying around for huge romantic gestures.  You know the most romantic thing he's done for me lately?  Last year, during a particularly hard financial time, I was having horrible headaches.  I knew it was my eyes because I hadn't had my eyes checked in five years or so, but we just didn't have the extra cash to have it done.  So, Hubby came home one day with a receipt saying he had sold some stock.  He had already made me an appointment with the eye doctor and the check would be here within a week.  I cried like a baby because he knew I would put up with headaches for months without any relief because we just didn't have the extra money. 

Know what else is romantic?  When he loads the dishwasher for me, even if he doesn't do it the way I would.  When he brushes the kids teeth.  When he checks my oil for me.  When he entertains the kids so I can soak in the tub, with a good book, without a kid trying to climb in with me.  When he dances with me in the kitchen, amongst the kids, the dogs and the dirty dishes.  When he tells me he loves me twenty-five times a day.  When he makes me laugh after a bad day, or after a good one.  Because, he's my BEST friend and because he's always there, for the good stuff and the bad stuff.  That is romantic to me.   

What about you?  Have your views of romance changed over the years?  What's the most romantic thing your spouse/significant other has done for you lately? 


  1. What a great post!!! My first reaction was, "Romance?! What the heck is that?" But the truth is, romance does change over the years. Although I still wouldn't mind being whisked away for an evening I don't have to plan.

  2. Great post! I do think our views of romance change as we get older and more into our marriage. While we all love the grand gestures, the little things around the house mean so much more now. When we lost our baby 4 weeks ago, Hubby was showering me with love, support, and a shoulder to cry on. It was a horrible experience, but his romantic gestures made it much easier for me to go through.

  3. Just want you to know that by the end of this post, I was crying. You are very right when you say that the most romantic things are those every day (or not so every day) things that come with no flowers or fanfare.

    When my husband surprises me with a simple bunch of flowers or brings something home from the road (he travels) that I can't buy here that's romance to me.

    Recently, he sent me an email saying that he had passed the spot where we first met on his travels. That was romantic to me. I kept the email.

    And you know? I'm not nearly as romantic in gesture toward HIM as I used to be. Hmmm.

    Great post. Great clip. You've got me thinking.

  4. I love that movie, I wish to say that we're like those amazing romantic movies. I'm not sure we were ever very romantic, I wish he would do something like that with dinner and dancing :).

    We are trying to be better and find adult alone time to bring us back together. We lost each other there and romance is sure something you need to work on and hold onto.

  5. Beautiful tribute to your husband. I love the little things too. My hubby brings me a Chick Fil A sweet tea for no reason and it makes me smile. I think that it is the small things that are the best:)