Thursday, August 12, 2010

Getting to Know You Thursday....Fears

What were you afriad of when you were little?  I was afraid of......well, everything.  You see, I am a chicken butt.  Yep, always have been.  I'm afraid of everything!!!  I used to make my dad come check my closets and under my bed and under the bathroom vanity EVERY night before bed because I was just sure there were bears hiding in my room until the lights when off when they would come out and gobble me up. 

As I got older, my fears changed.  I was afraid of the usual creepy, crawly things.  I hate snakes, mice, bugs, spiders and camel crickets.  Have you ever seen a camel cricket?  They are so creepy!  The look like a cross between a cricket and a spider and they jump like six feet in the air and they get HUGE, like as big as my fist.  The closet in the house I rented in college was like the breeding ground for these scary creatures.  ICK!  My poor little brother was woke up late at night MANY times when we were young to come kill a bug in my room.  Thank you Mark! 

My Mortal Enemy...The Camel Cricket

My brother, Mark, the Bug Killer

As I got older, I learned to fear people the most.  I was afraid if there were escape convicts anywhere within a 300 mile radius, that they were coming after me.  I checked the door locks constantly.  I was terrified if my mom stepped away from me in Wal-Mart, someone would kidnap me.  My little sister, who was apparently afraid of nothing, would sneak out at night with her friends and hang out at 1:00 a.m.  I, on the other hand, was afraid to go in the front yard by myself in the middle of the night.  Also, when I was around eleven and had a bad dream, I would go sleep with my sister for protection.  She was four at the time, so I have NO IDEA how I thought she would protect me.  My sister is not a scaredy cat like me.  She was once robbed at gunpoint and she YELLED AT THE GUNMAN!  HELLO?  That's my sister. 

Me and my brave sister!

Now, that I'm am afraid for others much more than myself.  I worry about my parents, my Hubby, my kids especially.  Right now, my biggest fear is that my 6 year old L is about to start school.  L is autistic and is starting Kindergarten in one week.  That is the fear that consumes my life right now.  I am terrified of dropping this tiny boy off at school all by himself in unfamiliar territory.  He does great in his small preschool right now, where he is familiar with things.  His new school is unfamiliar and bigger, where he knows NOBODY!  He's never gone to school with "normal" kids before.  I am terrified he will be labeled "the weird kid".  I'm worried the other kids will tease him.  I'm worried they will laugh at him and pick on him or bully him.  What if his teacher doesn't like him?  He usually has no problem winning over women because he is very affectionate, but what if they don't "get" him.  The whole thing is enough to make me sick at my stomach with worry.  I know I cried when I dropped off my older two at Kindergarten, but I didn't cry for a full month before Kindergarten started. 

My Little L.

So, for now at least, L starting Kindergarten is my biggest fear.  Don't get me wrong - I am still terrified of snakes, bugs, mice and creep crawly things.  I still check the door locks constantly and make sure the alarm is turned on.  I'm still a chicken butt. 

What are you afraid of?


  1. you and me, we sound a lot alike. I do not ever want to meet one of those camel crickets...never heard of 'em until now. I do not like mean people, and do not like snakes, or creep(s) both animal and people.
    One thing that has helped me is Isaiah 41:10. Do not fear for I am with not anxiously look about you for I AM YOUR GOD....look up the's to a trust in the ALMIGHTY who can assuage yours and my fears!
    Love you!

  2. eww that thing is ugly!!!
    Your sweetie is going to do just fine. Mom however will probably shed a tear or two but that's okay. I cried and still do at all of the new milestones in my girls lives and they are 26,24 and 19 yr od twins. The Lord is faithful to comfort and give peace but tears are okay

  3. Oh almost forgot ...please come over and enter the giveaway!!

  4. chicken butt made me laugh!
    I thought my biggest fear was flying...but those things you mentioned are pretty scary. thanks :)

  5. I'm really weird so I had some strange fears. As a kid, I was scared of leaf blowers because I was afraid they would suck me up and I didn't like escalators because I thought my shoelace would get stuck in them!

    Now, I have a weird fear of touching sponges. Not because of the germs, but because they look icky. I also don't like to put my feet on the bottom of pools and lakes. Why? It's gross!

  6. Oh dear, I would have to say I understand. My Josh who is 7 is starting 2nd grade. He has a lot of difficulties with social skills and he is at a new school since we moved. Prayer and talking with my hubby is what helps me. I also agree with Psalm 41:10. It is very powerful to stand on in faith.

    I will keep you in prayers!!!

  7. I know how much you must worry about him. There will be tough days, but look how well he adjusted where he is now. He will do great and his sweet smile will win the teacher over. I will be praying for you and can't wait to hear how he does.

  8. You can't help but worry about your son. I hope he has a good year and makes a smooth transition to his new school.

  9. Just getting to this one since I'm out of town. I can SO RELATE to this topic!! I am YOU. Yep... afraid of my own shadow. (along with flying, mice, snakes, strangers, cancer, the dark, ghosts, boogie men, people who want to hurt my family, and...)

    The only typical fear that I DON'T have is spiders/bugs. I'll come kill yours for you anytime.

    Of course, by the end of your post, my eyes were misting and my heart kind of hurt. I can feel the fear in your words, and I would have every single thought you are having. You'll make it. He'll make it. How could any teacher not love that face???

  10. I hate those nasty crickets!! I was in the bathroom once, my brother was in the kitchen at the counter, and all the sudden I felt something land on my shoulder and I looked and there was one SITTING on me. I FLIPPED out and screamed and my brother thought I was dying in the bathroom. He found it hilarious when he heard me screaming about the cricket.

    And ((hugs)). Praying everything goes well with your little ones going off to Kindergarten.

  11. I honestly understand what you are going have no control, God is in control. Your son will have good days and bad. We held our son back a year and he went through one year of spec. ed. kindergarten and then into regular and I had the same concerns. Does he have a shadow with him? If so, be sure to have an agreement on how to communicate daily, if not...I'd consider asking the school district about getting one. This helped mainstream our autistic son into that group and holding him back is still proving to be a wise choice we made years ago as he fits right in with the kids a year younger than he. He is now going into fifth grade (yes, middle school is next year and I am tempted to already worry - not to mention puberty is coming!!) We're still doing speech therapy (he also has apraxia) and we've added VT (vision therapy) and it gets a little easier! of last year, he rode his bike to school everyday it wasn't raining...he's that independent (we're only a few blocks away). God will give you the grace to get through this small difficult time...Becky