As I got older, my fears changed. I was afraid of the usual creepy, crawly things. I hate snakes, mice, bugs, spiders and camel crickets. Have you ever seen a camel cricket? They are so creepy! The look like a cross between a cricket and a spider and they jump like six feet in the air and they get HUGE, like as big as my fist. The closet in the house I rented in college was like the breeding ground for these scary creatures. ICK! My poor little brother was woke up late at night MANY times when we were young to come kill a bug in my room. Thank you Mark!
My Mortal Enemy...The Camel Cricket
My brother, Mark, the Bug Killer
As I got older, I learned to fear people the most. I was afraid if there were escape convicts anywhere within a 300 mile radius, that they were coming after me. I checked the door locks constantly. I was terrified if my mom stepped away from me in Wal-Mart, someone would kidnap me. My little sister, who was apparently afraid of nothing, would sneak out at night with her friends and hang out at 1:00 a.m. I, on the other hand, was afraid to go in the front yard by myself in the middle of the night. Also, when I was around eleven and had a bad dream, I would go sleep with my sister for protection. She was four at the time, so I have NO IDEA how I thought she would protect me. My sister is not a scaredy cat like me. She was once robbed at gunpoint and she YELLED AT THE GUNMAN! HELLO? That's my sister.
Me and my brave sister!
Now, that I'm old....er...I am afraid for others much more than myself. I worry about my parents, my Hubby, my kids especially. Right now, my biggest fear is that my 6 year old L is about to start school. L is autistic and is starting Kindergarten in one week. That is the fear that consumes my life right now. I am terrified of dropping this tiny boy off at school all by himself in unfamiliar territory. He does great in his small preschool right now, where he is familiar with things. His new school is unfamiliar and bigger, where he knows NOBODY! He's never gone to school with "normal" kids before. I am terrified he will be labeled "the weird kid". I'm worried the other kids will tease him. I'm worried they will laugh at him and pick on him or bully him. What if his teacher doesn't like him? He usually has no problem winning over women because he is very affectionate, but what if they don't "get" him. The whole thing is enough to make me sick at my stomach with worry. I know I cried when I dropped off my older two at Kindergarten, but I didn't cry for a full month before Kindergarten started.
My Little L.
So, for now at least, L starting Kindergarten is my biggest fear. Don't get me wrong - I am still terrified of snakes, bugs, mice and creep crawly things. I still check the door locks constantly and make sure the alarm is turned on. I'm still a chicken butt.
What are you afraid of?